“You’re conceited.” “You’re so sure of yourself.” “You think way too highly of yourself.” I’m sure we’ve all heard these before. You’ve probably heard this from people who misinterpreted your confidence for arrogance. It’s annoying, right? Is there a problem with me thinking highly of myself? Is there a problem with me being sure of myself? What’s wrong with being confident? I was listening to ‘Confident’ by Demi Lovato (I love me some Demi Lovato btw), and it inspired me to share my journey on how I became this “you’re so sure of yourself” person.
I mentioned in a previous post that I grew up in a predominantly white area (went to predominately white schools) and often felt like I couldn’t relate to my peers. Well, that caused me to have major confidence issues. I remember being made fun of almost every single day in middle school. It got to the point that I begged my parents to let me switch schools. I definitely looked different than most of my classmates, and boy did they make fun of me for it. They made fun of how “nappy” my hair was, and how “big” my lips were. I even remember this girl telling me to “go sit in the back of the bus where I belonged.” (Now that’s a whole different story; buttttt let’s just say that it was my first and only time getting suspended-you get my drift). Anyway, all of these situations caused me to lack confidence in myself. I wanted to change who I was so bad in hopes that I wouldn’t be made fun of. I would do anything just to fit in. I dang near went bald headed trying to get my hair to be bone straight like everybody else (thank you lawwd for the new growth lol). It’s sad, but unfortunately that “fit the norm” mentality traveled with me all throughout my teenage years and even through college. It wasn’t until a few years after graduating that I started to love the raw and unfiltered me.
After graduating, I realized that I was on my own. I was no longer in an adolescent bubble filled with judgement and opinions. I had full control over my life and knew that every decision I made would determine my future. That control is what helped me to be confident. Knowing that I could determine how I felt about myself, and how others made me feel was powerful. So, I did the one thing that I naturally knew how to do, and that was pray. I was always a prayer warrior, but my prayers started to change. I always prayed for confidence, but my prayers began to be more specific. I started asking God to help me see myself the way that he saw me. I wanted him to help me use my power for good. I even asked him to help me to never base my value and worth on the opinion of others. When I tell you that prayer changes things…it CHANGES things (can I get an Amen?). God really started to change my mindset. He showed me that different was okay, because I was created in his image. Once I realized God’s love for me and that he created me to be just like him; my confidence grew (it also grew once I realized that those opinions from the “haters” didn’t pay my bills lol). My confidence didn’t grow overnight, but over time I became the person that I am today (a strong, very confident, black woman who can do anything that she puts her mind to).
Now back to my original question. What’s wrong with being confident? What’s wrong with people knowing exactly who they are and not conforming? What’s wrong with people shining and doing the most for themselves? And what’s so wrong with people believing in themselves? We work way too hard to not be any of those things. We should always be “sure” and think highly of ourselves, because that’s what God thinks of us. So often confidence gets mistaken for cockiness, because it makes other people feel some type of way. But, if we were all confident in ourselves, but most importantly God; we wouldn’t have to worry about anybody else’s light shining brighter than ours. I think that we should embrace confidence in ourselves, but also in other people. Confidence is power, but we don’t always know the root of that power.
This is the realest ish I’ve ever wrote, because it’s my truth and I don’t share it too often. I’m challenging myself to be more open, as this is a space for inspiration and encouragement, and I hope you’re inspired by this. What’s wrong with being confident? Nothing at all, so don’t let anybody tell you different.
